I want you to know

my granddaughter

that I care


I love you


I am sad I cannot be there

to see you

being gifted to the world


I get hurt when I hear your father

saying he misses me

I worry

how will he introduce me

to you?

a woman who abandoned him

when he was 14?


I get confused

during WhatsApp video calls sometimes

with your mum

we have not met


what will she say about me

a woman she waited to see on her lobola day

but never showed up?


day and night

I feel the pain

another layer

added on top




my love comes from as far

and as deep

as an ocean


I am waiting here            

with your shoes

your laces

with your clothes and nappies

with your toys

ready to support you


will you forgive me

before you show up?


I want you to be my friend

drive me to the hospital

when I am unwell

bend on our knees together

in prayer

more than anything

I will always be with you

in spirit

when physicality prohibits


Single Grand is published in Loraine Masiya Mponela’s second book of poems, Now I Sing. You can find out more and purchase a copy here.

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