I want you to know
my granddaughter
that I care
I love you
I am sad I cannot be there
to see you
being gifted to the world
I get hurt when I hear your father
saying he misses me
I worry
how will he introduce me
to you?
a woman who abandoned him
when he was 14?
I get confused
during WhatsApp video calls sometimes
with your mum
we have not met
yet
what will she say about me
a woman she waited to see on her lobola day
but never showed up?
day and night
I feel the pain
another layer
added on top
listen
granddaughter
my love comes from as far
and as deep
as an ocean
I am waiting here
with your shoes
your laces
with your clothes and nappies
with your toys
ready to support you
will you forgive me
before you show up?
I want you to be my friend
drive me to the hospital
when I am unwell
bend on our knees together
in prayer
more than anything
I will always be with you
in spirit
when physicality prohibits
Single Grand is published in Loraine Masiya Mponela’s second book of poems, Now I Sing. You can find out more and purchase a copy here.